


What Am I Now?

by TheBadge



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 09:49:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14691660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBadge/pseuds/TheBadge
Summary: After everyone else settles down for the night after banishing Lilith; Magnus is left by himself with his thoughts. He contemplates himself without magic.





	What Am I Now?

**Author's Note:**

> Alright. So I saw where some people were unhappy with the lack of Magnus centered mid-season fanfics. I tried to write one. I hope it is good. To be honest, this is my first time writing one hundred percent in Magnus POV. I haven't written many fics. I might write more to keep improving. Thanks for reading.

Magnus sat there staring at his hands. They were dirty and had a bit of Alexander’s blood on them. Alec was currently recovering from the serve injuries he abstained while trying to fight Owl Jace. Cat had assured him that Alec would recover. She asked Magnus why he wasn’t able to heal him or even create a portal to get Alec to safety and he lied to her. He said that summoning Amadeus power had been too much for him and it drained him of his magic. She told him to get some rest for a few days.

It was close to midnight now.

Cat left shortly after Alec was settled, after getting an assurance from Magnus that she was fine to go and that he would not perform any magic at least until tomorrow. He nearly broke down at her words. The Lightwood family was currently in his spare bedroom, all refusing to leave Alec’s side and Magnus didn’t mind, at least they were not trying to take his to the infirmity at the institute. Simon disappeared with Luke after the explosion, blaming himself for what happened to Clary.

So much happened in the last few hours. Jace nearly killed Alec. Lilith was banished back to Edom. Clary had died. Magnus now no longer felt the magic he once had.

For the last 800 or so odd years, Magnus always had magic. He could feel it pulsing when he got too emotional as a child. He could feel the steady hum of it when he was content. With the flick of his wrist, he could summon anything his heart desired. Now there was nothing but an empty feeling.

Worse of all he didn’t know what would happen next. He once told Alec he couldn’t see the future. But now he couldn’t see anything. He had spent years building his magic, using it to help others. What was he now? Was he still a warlock or is he now a mundane? Would he age? Get sick? Died? All these thoughts came to him at once.

He clenched his hands again. The fingernail paint was chipped, while he normally likes doing things without magic, he wanted to be able to snap his finger and be able to fix it. He wanted to fix a lot of things.

The worst part was being that things were not over. Lilith is gone, that much is true. But there will be other battles, other wars. What good is he without magic? Not to mention that he probably will get in trouble with the Warlock Council for attacking Lorenzo Rey.

Magnus ran his hands through his hair. He needs a shower and to go to sleep. But he couldn’t move. He no longer has magic. He would have to deal with it at some point. He could have to explain it to Alec, to Cat and a bunch of people. But for the moment he sat there and stared at his hands as tears slowly threaten to escape his eyes; as he wonders who he is now without magic.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I did this some justice. I understand where people are coming from. Magnus just lost his magic, a huge part of who he is. This isn't just about Alec and what happened to him but also about the sacrifices Magnus makes as well.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading.


End file.
